Honesty Is the Best Policy

Meeting people online may seem like a good opportunity to reinvent yourself and maybe falsify a few aspects of your life to seem more interesting since the person on the other end can’t see you. While fudging the truth might make you feel more confident and draw more online attention to yourself, it can come back to bite you if you ever want to meet the woman you’ve been talking to or start a serious relationship.

Using misleading photos or claiming to have an important job title with a large salary could be very awkward to try explaining when you go out on your first date and she realizes you aren’t who you say you are. Your best bet is to be yourself and make a strong connection with someone who wants to meet the real you.

Honesty regarding your expectations is very important as well. You can save a lot of heartache and hurt feelings for both parties if you’re clear about your thoughts on dating a single parent, a divorcee, or someone who smokes or drinks. You don’t need to make a big red warning sign to post at the front of your profile, but gently putting your requirements out there will weed out the people you just won’t be compatible with.

Quality over Quantity

Rather than sending out a mass e-mail to every woman you find attractive, take the time to read through their profiles and determine first if you think they’d be a good match for you. If so, send a personal message and add some tidbits in there that show you’ve read her profile and have taken a sincere interest. Sending her something that is easy to respond too, for example asking her questions regarding something you’ve seen in her profile, could make a response more likely.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again

With online dating, you’re not always going to get a positive response from someone you message. Don’t let interactions like this discourage you. The best approach is to show your interest, but avoid sending e-mail after e-mail if she doesn’t reply back. The beauty of online dating is that the possibilities are endless, so while one woman may not be interested, you have the opportunity to meet many more who may be.

Deciding on a Site

With so many online dating sites out there, it’s important to choose the one that will be right for you. Some sites are free and some you pay for. Pay sites may weed out the less serious online daters but you may prefer a free site if you aren’t sure what you’re looking for yet. Every different site will offer their own set of dating tools, e-mail servers, and messaging services, so browsing through a few before signing up for anything will give you the opportunity to get started on a site that suits you best.

Some niche sites cater to specific interests you might share. These sites could be religion specific or focus mainly on those looking to get married. The more popular sites will generally have more members you can browse through, but if you are looking for a specific type of woman, the smaller sites may have a more particular group of members.

Creating Your Profile

Setting up a thorough profile is a must. Leaving everything blank and not including a picture will give the message that you either aren’t interested enough in the dating process to invest some time into your profile or that you’re trying to hide something.

Fill out what you can on your profile, without being painfully long-winded, and post a few recent, well-lit photos of yourself. The women you message will want to have an idea about who you are before writing back, and if you want to receive any messages, you’ll have to give them a reason to initiate contact.

Meeting the Right Woman

Once you’ve chosen a good screen name that suits you and you’ve created a confident yet modest profile for yourself you’ll be ready to start looking for that special someone. Be sure to read her profile before sending her a message and keep your messages short, polite, and personal. Most women can tell when you’ve created a generic message that you send out to every profile you come across so mention something you liked about her profile or ask her some questions about herself.

You may not always get a response back, so give her some time to respond. Sending one more e-mail a week later is alright if you’re particularly taken by someone, but there’s no sense in spamming anyone who isn’t interested. If you still don’t hear back, accept that she isn’t the one for you and try making a connection with someone else.

Getting to Know Her

The first thing you should do before getting serious about anyone you meet online is get to know them and develop some trust. Follow your instincts and if something seems strange or sends up red flags for you, you may want to re-evaluate that online relationship. There’s many other women out there, so don’t compromise yourself if you think something seems off.

Anyone asking for too much personal info who won’t give you any about themselves may be trying to deceive you. On the other hand, if they’re giving out way too much information, it could be to give you a false sense of security. Your own judgment and instincts will be what guides you, but you don’t need to be so wary that you refuse to get to know anyone.

Meeting Someone in Person

If you’ve decided to take your online relationship to the next level and meet, it’s a good idea to meet in a public place and take separate cars. Keep your home address and home phone number to yourself until you think this is a person you can trust. Sticking to cell phone and online communication can help you protect your privacy.

While you’re out on your date, having someone call to check in at some point can be a good safety net. While you may not feel threatened by meeting a woman somewhere keep in mind that she may not be alone or could have someone watching her. You don’t need to spend your whole night worrying about these things, but keeping them at the back of your mind and taking precautions will keep you safe.

Sending Money

Someone asking for money should send up a huge red flag. No matter what her reason is, how desperate she seems, or how heartbreaking her story is, she shouldn’t be asking for money from someone she recently met online. There are a lot of scams out there and while you may think you’re being a nice guy, it’s important to protect yourself when meeting someone through online dating.

(1) Post good-quality, flattering photos of yourself on your dating profile. Find several photos of yourself where you look healthy, attractive and confident and add them to your profile. You want your female matches to be drawn into reading your profile from your tasteful photos of yourself.

(2) Post photos of yourself smiling in which you seem friendly. Avoid posting photos where you have a neutral or negative expression on your face. Avoid posting photos where you have closed body language, such as your arms crossed tightly in front of you. You want the women looking at your profile to consider you as a friendly, approachable, down-to-earth guy.

(3) Spend a good amount of time and care while writing your profile. A primary goal to keep in mind is that you want your profile to be original and creative. Since there are thousands of men on the dating site competing for women’s attention, make sure that ladies reading your profile will become intrigued by your imaginative, carefully crafted descriptions of your personality, personal interests, career, life experiences and relationship goals.

(4) Reflect on the top ten qualities that matter most to you in a partner. In a welcoming manner, write a description about the characteristics that you are searching for in your future girlfriend or wife. Be careful however not to appear to be too demanding, too critical, or superficial. Superficiality is a major turn off for any self-respecting woman.

(5) Avoid being boring and uninteresting while writing your profile. Avoid writing something cliche, such as “I am just a nice guy looking for a good woman.” Write your profile in a manner that reveals your special personality. Use tasteful humor in your dating essay. Share several heart-warming stories about yourself that will make you endearing to your female readers.

(6) Avoid posting shirtless photos of yourself. Chose instead photos of you in action, doing favorite activities such as sailing, cycling or playing tennis. Most women will be turned off by revealing photos.

(7) Consider the characteristics that women are searching for in a long-term relationship partner. Communicate the following attributes while writing your profile:

a) Confidence: Show your independence and self-confidence in your profile. Remember to show humility and avoid coming across as macho or arrogant.

b) Ambition: Reveal to your matches that you are educated and intelligent with a good, stable career. Women want a man who is purposeful and goal-oriented.

c) Humor: Communicate through your profile that you are a fun and playful man who will be a fun-loving and entertaining boyfriend.