You Don’t Have a Picture Posted

If you’ve got a great profile set up with no picture and you’re wondering why you aren’t getting many messages, this could be the reason. A lot of people out there don’t want to message someone they can’t visualize. This doesn’t mean they’re shallow or appearance focused, but having no picture could make them think the worst. Even if you don’t like photos of yourself, having any picture on your profile is better than having nothing at all.

You Aren’t Being Completely Honest

You don’t have to lay out your entire life story on your profile or make a checklist of all your flaws and secrets, but being honest about who you are will make things easier for you if you’re looking for a real connection. Trying to explain later why you no longer have the job you said you did, or what happened to your amazing car you mentioned, could be awkward and will make you look dishonest and untrustworthy.

Misleading or incredibly old photos can also be a bad idea when it comes time to meet your online interest. You may have developed a deep enough connection for them to look past the fact that you’re no longer 20 with a full head of hair, but in most cases, it makes a bad first impression to arrive to a date looking nothing like they expected.

You’re Too Hard on Yourself

Nobody expects you to be perfect, but filling your profile up with a list of your flaws, shortcomings, and bad habits might scare people away. You do want to be honest, but you don’t need to slander yourself. If there’s something you really think people should know, by all means put it up there, but for the most part you should make your profile as flattering and friendly as possible. They’ll have time to learn about your quirks once they get to know you, so give yourself the opportunity to get to that point.

It’s good to be clear about you want and be as straightforward as you see fit, but you want to remember that the person you’re talking to doesn’t know you yet so building a little bit of trust first will result in a better connection. Sounding jealous or desperate to someone you’ve just met is a good way to get yourself on their block list, so online or offline, keep things light with the people you’ve just met and take the chance to learn more about each other.

Sign Up On the Right Site

Some sites cater specifically to people looking for a more casual type of connection while others are focus more on matching up individuals for marriage. Larger, more popular sites may be set up to offer both and will allow you to indicate what you’re looking for. Pay sites will usually have people who are more committed to looking for a serious relationship and the fact that they’re willing to pay membership fees verifies that.

Choose Someone Who Is Compatible

If you really want to find someone to spend time with and develop a connection, it can be tempting to lower the bar and give just anyone a chance. While it’s great to keep your options open, it’s important to make sure you aren’t wasting your time on someone you wouldn’t be compatible with. Review their profile before starting up a conversation and make sure they haven’t indicated anything that you don’t think you would be okay with in the future.

Focus On Getting To Know Each Other

You don’t have to rush into meeting each other right away. To develop a deeper connection, it may be smart to really get to know each other online with e-mail and instant messaging and move on to phone conversations. Taking it slow and meeting once you’re both ready will most likely make both of you feel more comfortable and at ease with each other which will make your first date go that much more smoothly.

Stay Positive and Optimistic

Not every online encounter you have is going to go the way your like and you won’t always hit it off with everyone you talk to. Accepting rejection and moving on from it will allow you to be pleasant and optimistic when meeting someone new rather than acting bitter and cynical and possibly scaring them off. This applies as well to any offline experience you’ve had that may have left you bitter. Putting your friendliest foot forward is sure to give you better reactions and responses from possible love interests.

Pay Site versus Free Site

One of the biggest decisions when it comes to online dating sites is whether to use a free site or pay for a membership. Free sites can be very effective and can give you many options for potential connections. Pay sites, on the other hand, may draw in a more serious type of online dater who is truly looking for an honest connection and likely a long-term relationship. Your decision between pay and free sites will be based on what you’re hoping to find and what you can afford.

Niche Dating Sites

For those out there who have serious passions or interests, a niche site may be a great way to meet like-minded individuals. Some of these sites are geared specifically towards people looking for marriage and others may be centered more on a specific religion or lifestyle. Whether you’re looking for someone who is dedicated to a certain sport or has a deep political inclination, a niche site can really be something worth looking into.

Popular Online Dating Communities

If you choose to go with one of the online dating giants such as eHarmony, Match.com, or PlentyOfFish, you’ll probably be impressed at the sheer volume of potential matches these sites can offer. Because they’re so popular, they can give you plenty of options to search through and they usually have excellent tools on their site to set you up with the perfect match.

These sites are usually easy to navigate and have great e-mail and instant messaging services. While they lack the specificity of smaller sites, they often allow you to set a customized criteria of what you’re looking for. Some sites, such as OKCupid, will give you a series of personality quizzes to determine the best matches for you.

Browse through a few of the sites that look most appealing to you and if they have free trials, give them a try. If one site doesn’t work for you, set up a profile on another one. Don’t be discouraged if you have a bad experience from any one site in particular. Different sites may be built to cater to certain types of people, so finding the one that works for you is the best way to find the match that suits you perfectly.

Step One: Pick a Site

Not all sites are created equally and finding the one that works for you could have a huge impact on your success. Some sites may be more oriented to casual encounters while others are directed more towards marriage. Bigger dating sites may try to cater to all types of relationships and will give you the option to choose what you’re looking for. You’ll also need to decide if you want to use a pay site that might have more serious members or a free site that allows everyone to sign up.

Step Two: Choose a Screen Name

Your screen name is going to stick with you for a long time so it’s important to choose something that suits you and isn’t going to offend any potential matches or put them off in any way. There’s no sense in writing out a great profile that shows how deep you are if you have a shallow or profane screen name that people skip over.

Step Three: Write Your Profile

This is where you can really show everyone who you are. It’s a good idea to keep your profile light and friendly, but be sure to include interests and passions that are important to you. Your profile allows people to meet you before they meet you, so keep it positive and flattering while still being honest about who you are.

Step Four: Add a Picture

Clear pictures with good lighting will make your profile infinitely more attractive to possible matches. A lot of people refuse to even look at a profile that doesn’t include a picture, and while you may have great profile answers, no one will ever see them if they don’t feel like they should take the time to look. Even if you don’t like the looks of your pictures, there are people out there who will, so give yourself a chance.

Step Five: Chat Away

Once you’re all set up and the world can search you, it’s time to make some connections. You’ll probably receive some messages from other individuals, but don’t be shy about messaging the people you’re interested in as well. You may not always get a response to every message you send, but keep chatting away until you find the right match.

Use these guidelines to help you decide which online dating service to join.

(1) Set a budget for yourself. Decide how much money you are willing and able to spend on an online dating service. Most dating sites offer memberships for one month, three months, six months and one year. If you are planning on staying on a dating site for several months, it is often more economical to register for a three month membership rather than a one month membership which then has to be renewed. Fill out the basic personal registration information on a dating website and see if they email you any discounted membership offers. There are a variety of quality, popular online dating services that are free that are worth checking out.

(2) Ask trusted family members, friends or colleagues who have experience with online dating sites to give you their recommendations for the best service to join. Ask them to give you an honest opinion. If they had negative experiences with a certain dating site, take their advice seriously in making your final decision about what service to join. Once you have made a decision about the online dating service that you will join, ask these people for advice regarding writing your dating profile, posting photos and responding to matches’ emails and messages. Consider these friends, family members or colleagues to be valuable resources for you.

(3) Invest time in searching through popular and reputable online dating sites. Research as many different dating services as you can before deciding on one to join. Try to figure out which online dating services are the most popular, especially for singles in your state or province or even country.

(4) Think about joining a specialized online dating service. There are a wonderful variety of specialized dating sites available that cater to a specific market. Some dating websites are for a specific country or geographical region. Some dating websites have a religious orientation and are geared toward people of a certain faith, such as Christian or Jewish dating sites. Some dating websites are for seniors.

(5) Reduce your choices down to your favorite three online dating services. Compare them with one another, making note of the advantages and disadvantages of each dating site. Read each site’s “About Us” page, “Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)” page and “Privacy” page to gather detailed information. Consider each dating service’s success rate, membership fees, number of members, special features, profile formats, and customer service.

(1) Decide on which singles dating sites you wish to join.

Visit each website. Look at the special features and format that each site offers. Look at the costs involved with membership. Look at the payment types accepted, such as VISA, Mastercard, and PayPal. Ensure that the site offers secure and safe payment options.  For detailed information, read the “About Us” page, the “Frequently Asked Questions” page and the “Privacy Page.”  Find out if the service caters to professional people, seniors, single parents, people from special ethnic  groups or members from specific religious groups.

Some singles dating sites offer you a chance to search through profiles and photos before you commit to joining. Some dating sites offer a free trial period.  Search for a singles dating sites that offers members the ability to send email messages through a special email address provided by the service and the ability to send instant messages (IMs) to fellow members.

Talk to friends and family who have participated in singles dating sites for their personal recommendations. Ask them to share their personal experiences with you about the various dating services that they utilized. Value your friends and family’s advice, as it is more authentic than the advertisements and testimonials used by dating sites.

(2) Decide what characteristics and values you are searching for in your “perfect match.”

Work on building self-awareness so that you know your own abilities, preferences and relational needs. Take time to reflect seriously on the traits and values you desire in a future romantic partner. In a journal or using a word processor, record a list of “Top 10? or “Top 20? characteristics that you want most in a mate. Think about your dreams for yourself and your future relationship partner. Characteristics including intelligence, sense of humor, integrity, honesty, faithfulness, patience,  playfulness, and respectfulness usually rank among the top traits people desire in their romantic companion.

Decide on the items that are “Deal Breakers” for you, such as someone who smokes cigarettes, does drugs, drinks too much alcohol, gambles, is disrespectful or has anger management problems. Decide whether you would prefer someone who has never been married and has no children, or it you are okay with dating someone who has been married or who has children. If your religion is very important to you, then make finding someone who shares your moral and religious values a priority for you in your search for your ideal partner.

In a world filled with busy, career-oriented people, many professionals are deciding to join online dating sites in the hopes of meeting their future romantic partner. A reputable online dating site provides each member with a detailed dating profile to fill in and usually offers a compatibility questionnaire before a member joins the site. Well-organized dating services employ sophisticated match-matching processes that enable each user to receive quality, well-suited matches. As online dating sites grow in popularity, with a variety of sites having millions of members, more and more men and women these days are discovering the love of their lives online.

Follow these guidelines to help you find your Mr. or Miss Right online:

(1) First of all, before you can be happy and fulfilled in a romantic relationship, you need to be happy and complete in yourself. Don’t buy into the famous line from the movie Jerry Maguire, “You complete me.” Each person has to be whole and holistically healthy within themselves before they are ready to find their life partner.

(2) In order to prepare yourself for meeting your perfect match, devote time to taking care of yourself, physically, emotionally and mentally. Invest time in your favorite hobby or special interest. Make sure that you are maintaining and healthy diet and exercising regularly. Think positively about yourself and work on developing a healthy self-esteem.

(3) Create an imaginative, genuine and well-written dating profile. Include special stories that illustrate your authentic personality. Share details about your favorite interests and hobbies, memorable anecdotes about your education and career, and charming stories about your family, pets and friends. Paint an appealing and lovable picture of yourself through your profile essay.

(4) Once you have joined an online dating site, take the time to complete all aspects of your dating profile. Your matches will be able to tell if you are serious about finding a partner by the amount of care and detail you put into your profile. Make sure that your writing is free from spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure mistakes. Take time when selecting your photos to upload to your profile. Make sure they are respectable, attractive and welcoming photos of yourself.

(5) Remember that finding your Mr. or Miss Right is a journey and give yourself plenty of time to be matched with the best possible partner. Devote some time every day or every other day to reviewing your new matches, responding to messages or emails from matches that you are interested in, and pursuing contact with any match that catches your attention. Part of the process with online dating is trial-and-error. When you are matched with people who don’t meet your expectations, because their profile turns you off, your values aren’t compatible or you don’t feeling physically attracted to them, then kindly but firmly close the match and send them a polite but assertive email such as “Thank you for your message. I don’t feel that we are a match. Good luck in your search.” Think positively. Every day you are getting closer to meeting your future soul mate.

The main things that you have to determine right from the beginning are:

a) What is their relationship status?
b) What kind of relationship they are looking for?

The answers to these two questions should be answered in their profile on the online dating service. There is a good chance that you would not be matched with a person who is not what you are looking for in this regard. It’s a good idea, however, to be sure that the two of you are clear on these issues before you invest any of your time in this person. As a safety precaution, make sure that you match is not married, engaged or already in a long-term relationship.

Certainly, you should ask their age, their occupation, their religious beliefs and their thoughts about marriage and children. All these things typically matter a great deal and again you want to screen out right from the start those people who are not right for you.

If the person meets with your approval with the above criterion, you can progress to the business of finding out their interests and hobbies, their likes and dislikes.

Here are some unique questions you might ask:

* What is on your iPod right now? (What would you put on an iPod if you had one?)
* If you could only watch three TV show a week, what would they be?
* If you could eat any food that you wanted without any negative results, what would it be?
* Have you ever won an award or a contest?
* If you could have chosen to be born at any time in history, when would you choose?
* What jobs did you have as a teenager?
* What are your favorite fiction and non-fiction books?
* What the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?

Finally, if you are really interested in that person as more than an online fling, you will want to discern their values and gain insight into their personality.

If you determine the answers to these three questions, you will know a great deal about that person:

* What makes them laugh?
* What makes them cry?
* What makes them angry?

You will want to skillfully and intelligently navigate your way through this phase and you just might find a person with whom you are truly compatible.

Although the majority of members of an online dating site are honest, good and genuine people, unfortunately hundreds of thousands of people are taken advantage of by internet dating scams. Be aware of any “red flags” that you notice with any of your matches.

Follow these helpful tips to avoid an online dating scam.

Be observant of discrepancies in your match’s emails. Be very cautious if you experience any of the following problems:

a) The email communication from your match is difficult to understand, is repeated or is oddly vague.
b) You receive a response from the match within ten to twenty minutes every time you send him/her a message, even though you never discussed when you would be online again.
c) You notice that emails from your match change in grammar, spelling, style, language or overall tone throughout your communication with him/ her.
d) Early on in your communication, your match shares a heart-wrenching story that quickly turns into an emergency, and he/she informs you that you are the only one who can help.
e) Your match fails to offer you any personal or detailed information about himself/herself.
f) He or she does not respond to your emails or messages in a personal way, but instead change the topic each time he/ she sends another email.
g) You sense that the emails or messages that you are receiving from this match don’t contain meaningful and appropriate responses. Consider whether or not the person is sending you copied-and-pasted responses from a pre-written script or outline.
h) The person asks you to cash someone’s money order or check for him/her. Say no!
i) The person asks you for money. Avoid giving anyone any money.
j) Be wary if the match’s profile photos look fake or unrealistic. It likely means that the photos have been tampered with, or worse, the photos might be of another person entirely and just used to hook potential matches into communicating with him/her.

Safety and Privacy Tips

Be very careful not to reveal you actual last name to a match until you feel that you have gotten to know the person and you feel that they are trustworthy. Be careful not to reveal your personal email address until you have been communicating for a good while through the online dating site and you feel comfortable sharing your email address with them. Do not share your phone number with a match until you feel very safe and comfortable with them over email. Never reveal your personal address until you have gone through the process of communicating online for a good amount of time, have had many successful phone conversations, and have met in person in safe, public places a variety of times.

To the extent that this is somebody who you have not had any previous contact with, the best course of action is often to simply close the match. Some dating websites such as eHarmony offer users the opportunity to simply press a button labeled “Close Match” if you are not interested in pursuing contact with the other person. You simply select one of the “reasons” for closing the match and the person is moved to your “closed matches” file.

With other online dating sites, ignore any messages the individual sends you. While this may seem a little bit extreme, some individuals might react negatively to a comment indicating that you are not interested. So if you have had no previous contact with somebody and they initiate contact with you, and you decide that an incompatibility exists, most experts agree you should not respond at all.

If you have had a series of contacts with an individual and you decide for whatever reason that an incompatibility exists, experts suggest being very firm and friendly in explaining that you don’t think enough compatibility exists to continue having contact with the individual. You need to explain that you want to move on and that you would appreciate if the other person understood and respected your decision. After this, experts agree you should have no further contact with the individual whatsoever.

The final scenario is one in which somebody continues to incessantly make contact with you despite your having clearly indicated that there is no interest in pursuing a relationship on your part. It is important to you than block this individual from being able to contact you through the dating site, and that you report your concern to the administrators.

By following this advice, you will be able to better manage the contacts that you have with people whom you meet via online dating sites.